Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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