Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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