I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
