Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
