Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
