Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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