Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
