biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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