chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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