I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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