Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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