So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
