How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
