If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is Oprah even human
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
