i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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