so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm both gender and math confused
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
