Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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