So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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