this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize