i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Your cock deserves a montage
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
