Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we made out on top of his cat.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
