im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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