like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
