He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
