she looked like the bat from fern gully.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
ttyl tear gas
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
