We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize