You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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