I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
