She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
