You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
