I wanna passion pit in your ass
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
