with your own penis?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
