Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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