Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize