***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
