Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
