i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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