my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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