My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
birth control should be required to get into college
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
