No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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