Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We need to get me chipped asap
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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