he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
