just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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