Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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