She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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