My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
