Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
