Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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