Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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