Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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