Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize