i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize