I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
