Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
