I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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