VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
