is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
