so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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