dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"