I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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