I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.