this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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