Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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(773): i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about http://tfl.nu/411c

Replies (24) Good night (1111) Bad night (706)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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(319): Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know. http://tfl.nu/c989

Replies (12) Good night (914) Bad night (3789)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?

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(989): I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel? http://tfl.nu/82ko

Replies (10) Good night (1164) Bad night (3905)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..

(250): View more from British Columbia

i'll start checking the bushes on campus.

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(778): so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually.. (250): i'll start checking the bushes on campus. http://tfl.nu/j3zu

Replies (34) Good night (5623) Bad night (1488)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.

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(613): Will you be topless? That will affect my answer. http://tfl.nu/lf7u

Replies (19) Good night (6245) Bad night (1083)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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(219): Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills. http://tfl.nu/rh2h

Replies (5) Good night (2704) Bad night (790)
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(614): View more from Ohio

He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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(614): He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help http://tfl.nu/0uoq

Replies (5) Good night (1613) Bad night (705)
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(760): View more from California

It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect

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(760): It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect http://tfl.nu/8hkz

Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (494)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept

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(502): How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept http://tfl.nu/59ls

Replies (13) Good night (542) Bad night (1668)
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(207): View more from Maine

Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.

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(207): Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked. http://tfl.nu/4t3j

Replies (9) Good night (1365) Bad night (460)
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(416): View more from Toronto

GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST

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(416): GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST http://tfl.nu/2bqp

Replies (8) Good night (562) Bad night (371)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"

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(814): He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe. (814): All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins" http://tfl.nu/wnoe

Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (308)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams

(226): View more from Ontario

In case that's what u were picturing

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(226): I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams (226): In case that's what u were picturing http://tfl.nu/1xa1

Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (323)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone

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(484): I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone http://tfl.nu/t0ck

Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (599)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco

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(202): walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco http://tfl.nu/wpyq

Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (562)

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