Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
