He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
